youve got all the friends you need;

gosh. i was so shocked yesterday. when i found out. i suppose i was sort of trying to act as if it didn't happen. but it has. carry on i guess. the fragility of a life. taking them for granted; as if they'd always be there. i wish i could see him with his collection of knick-knacks and giving us some of them like when we were kids. i wish i could see him for one more chinese new year. i wish i could call: hello da yi gong! one more time. just once more. why did i always take him for granted; as if he was SUPPOSED to give us stuff, as if he was SUPPOSED to offer us food and make sure we had enough, as if it was his RESPONSIBILITY to be nice to us. gah i feel like i haven't been reflecting enough. so sudden; it all seemed to fade.

she watched as all she had faded away. the familiar faces she once knew seemed to be disappearing and she was so desperately trying to keep them by her side. lunging forward, she grabbed at them, only to be clutching smoke. the very fabric of her life. every face and every place she ever saw a mere memory now. at least she still had the familiar faces that still existed. they kept her safe and warm, they were her security blankets; her safety ropes. she was thankful. she smiled to herself softly, staring blankly ahead at the screen. sacrifices had to be made. things had to change. perhaps this was how it was supposed to be, a reckless abandon.

that was a sudden reflection i decided to write. i am not emo. i'm just reflecting :D at least there wasn't much suffering. it ended quickly. not the prolonged agony many dread. i am thankful for that. 18 days to pretty odd.